Boy oh boy did I take the life of “Domanding, Domanding”
for granted when I spent my two years living with the queens and kings of that
motto. For those who aren’t fluent in Mandinka, “Domanding, Domanding” means,
slowly slowly. So when I wasn’t picking up the language fast enough in The
Gambia my host mom would tell me, “Domanding, Domanding.” When I couldn’t carry
water on my head properly, again she would say, “Domanding, Domanding.”
Everything was slowly slowly there, and patience was key.
Now, back in America-life, things are faster than ever,
some things I appreciate like the Wi-Fi, and how quickly water comes out of my
faucet. But I miss the lazy days under the shade of a mango tree, brewing
attayah (tea) and talking with friends and family of my village. I just spent
8-weeks in an intensive Spanish course 5 days a week for 5 hours a day immersed
in the language. I would go home and complete 4-6 hours of HW, eat dinner, and
crawl into bed. I got a job at a women’s athletic clothing store so add work
into that mix. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. I was exhausted, and not at all used to the
pace of America any longer. I had a small interim in Germany as a stepping stone
to this life, but it still wasn’t enough to get me back into the swing of
things. I absolutely love Middlebury and I love the friends I have made there
so far. My roommate has quickly become my best friend, and at some point, I
will dedicate a post to her and Middlebury, but this blog is about someone
else.
I
arrived in Germany to Au Pair for family Hein. A 6 month old baby girl and 2
and a half year old boy at the time. I absolutely fell in love with them
instantly and quickly became friends with their mother as well. In the first
couple of weeks I was there my best friend Lisa came to visit and stayed a
weekend with me. We had an absolute blast! We laughed, caught up on things, I
listened about the boy in her life, and she listened to my story lacking love,
but being happy with where I was on my life journey. By the time she left, I
had come to the conclusion I should go on some dates, so I downloaded Tinder.
If you rolled your eyes, keep reading.
My
thoughts on Tinder: The app is absolutely what you make it. I am sooooo not
about to shame anyone for using the dating app for any reason. I found it
refreshing to come back from Peace Corps in a foreign country and meet people
with similar interests and ideas in life without wasting a ton of time. I was
finding trying to date the traditional way to be daunting, time consuming, and
no one had similar life experiences as I had. For those who don’t understand
Tinder you simply swipe left or right on a person’s photo and you can look at
their profile. If you both swipe right, it’s a match and you can begin
chatting. It may sound a bit silly, but I was looking for something long term
and lasting as I made my swiping choices on Tinder. I was very clear with
potential dates that I was looking for something real and a true connection.
I
was never really sold on the idea of Tinder, but I thought, “What the heck?
What is there to lose?” It turned out, there was something to gain.
I
swiped right on Max as soon as I saw his picture. He was handsome, well
put-together in each of his photos, dressed nicely, nice eyes, and what really
won me over was the guitar in hand as he grinned at the camera. The moment we
matched my heart leapt into my throat and I was so intimidated by what would
happen next. Did I message first, did he? I was super interested so I decided
to message him. I said, “Hey there, is there any chance you’re a Christian
because it’s super important to me and I want to be with someone who loves
Christ too.” His response came seconds later. He said, “Yes I am and I wanted
to message you first but you were so fast.” We talked for days using the app
and I decided I wanted to give him my number and delete the app altogether. He
was so different from any person I had ever met. He asked me on a date a few
weeks later and asked to pick me up from my house. I was cautious at first, I
mean what is the protocol for having a complete stranger pick you up? I asked
him if he was a murderer, a safe driver, and if he knew I would return safely
(of course as a joke) he was quick witted with his response and I said, “Okay
let’s go on a date.”
He
picked me up from my house 1 hour late. He frantically tried to explain to me
his mirror on his window broke the moment he got into his car and that was why
he was so late. I was not buying it. When he arrived, I went outside to meet
him. He got out of the car opened the door for me and when he looked at me and
smiled I was shocked. He was soooooooo good looking I was speechless, and for
those who know me, that’s hard to achieve. I got in the car and I stammered to
make a coherent sentence. I looked up and saw his rear view mirror dangling
from a piece of plastic zip tie he had MacGyver’d (so he didn’t lie to me,
point for him). He was smooth, calm, and relaxed about everything. Our first
date lasted 7 hours at an Irish Pub, we missed the trivia we were there for and
just enjoyed conversing the entire time. There are many more details to follow,
many more stories, antics, and everything, but the bottom line is we absolutely
fell in love and there is no going back. Leaving Germany and walking away from
him was the hardest thing I have ever done, harder than college, harder than
Peace Corps, harder than steel. I will write more later about more date stories
and more of our love story, but the moral of the story is we fell in love,
thanks to a silly little dating app.
I
wrote this blog to inspire others to share their stories of dating no matter
what they are. Dating in the new age often has a bad rap, and I don’t think anyone
should feel shame for the way they choose to date. I hope this encourages
others to share and talk openly about anything they want to share.
P.S.-
He has purchased his ticket to visit the US in December and I could not be more
thrilled. 3 months and 3 weeks left today, but who’s counting?
No comments:
Post a Comment