One day after my IST was over my best friend Mata from next
door came to visit me. She plopped herself down on my guest bed clearly
frazzled about something going on. I asked her how she was and how she was
doing the whole bit. She explained to me what had been happening in her life
while I was away. She said one day a man showed up from Kombo and he was
staying at the Besse lodge doing some cashew business. Unbeknownst to her he
saw her one day and supposedly fell madly in love head over heels for her. He
went to her compound and asked to see her and to speak with her. That very day
he asked her mother for her hand in marriage. Her mother agreed much to Mata’s
dismay. Mata’s father lives in Kombo and therefore the decision in this case
goes to her mother. Mata was astonished. She has never met this man, does not
know him, and here is the real kicker, she yells exasperatedly at me, “I DON’T
LOVE HIM!”
I
begin wracking my brain trying to figure out what to do, what to say. I have
never NEVER in my life had a friend come to me with this sort of problem before
I was almost just as flabbergasted as she was. Finally, I console with her. I
ask her if she has told her boyfriend. She explains to me she has and they are
both very sad at the prospect. I ask her if she has talked to her mother about
her interest in completing school (Mata is 20 years old in grade 8) and she
says of course. Her mother is set on receiving the dowry for Mata’s marriage
and they really could use the money. After Mata leaves my house I go to the
only person I think can help, my fake father in village, who is actually my
uncle, and language coach, but mainly friend and advisor. I explain everything
to him and he is aghast.
He
takes my hand and marches me to Mata’s compound. He yells for Mata’s mother and
commands I sit and watch the argument commence (mind you it is all in Mandinka
so I am only catching bits and pieces). I catch things like, “she must finish
school,” and “how can you be so stupid to sell your own daughter.” Long story
short he pretty much berates her for being so foolish and tries to explain to
her times are changing and school is so important for young women. The
conversation ends with her mother trying to tell me Mata lied about everything
and she is laughing hysterically. I ask Karrafa, my father why she is laughing.
He explains to me it is because she is so ashamed about the situation. This
situation just adds to my confidence, I am pretty dang integrated if I can
understand a heated argument between adults and thwart a marriage for a young
girl. Maybe the Gambians are learning to trust and respect me after all. So
next time you’re wondering when your Prince or Princess Charming will spot you,
be a little wary, you never quite know what to expect.
